Prepare to Be Unsettled

Part of the adventure of romantic relationship is the inevitable tension of coordinating two people’s needs and desires.

Relationship presents a constant opportunity to grow.

How do you respond when your partner does something you don’t like?

How well do you get them to take your wants and needs seriously?

You know you shouldn’t expect an unending honeymoon, but some part of you still does.

We all have an infant part of us that just wants to be taken care of— to have our needs and wants intuited and provided without having to communicate them.

And there’s nothing wrong with having this part.

But the only one who can even come close to taking care of this part is ourselves.

We are continuously called to be our own parent.

And to withdraw that expectation from our partner.

This doesn’t mean you let them get away with something.

It doesn’t mean not standing up for what you need.

Or becoming their parent in the relationship.

It just means you’re here to take care of the vulnerable parts of yourself, knowing that you will need a lot of care.

Because you’re going to get unsettled.