Is it Okay to Fantasize About Other People?

Group therapy is a place where you are encouraged not only to fantasize about other group members, but to express and share those fantasies.

Gina objects to this.

Even if in group therapy everything is words only, not actions, how is this not cultivating an emotional affair?

This is just cheating-lite, she says.

Even without the explicit invitation of group therapy, many might feel anxious about fantasizing about someone they know other than their partner.

What if it leads to action?

This can be an appropriate fear.

When someone is psychotic, they can’t distinguish between an image of their mind and an object in three-dimensional reality.

There is no space between impulse and action.

A voice commands something and the person does it.

Group therapy and individual therapy are about increasing the space between impulse action.

The goal is to analyze mental images, or fantasies, just as we study dreams.

The more you study them, the less imperative they become.

You realize there’s always a symbolic communication behind the immediate image.

Then you can learn what the fantasy is pointing towards, what’s missing in your life.

Perhaps you can even find a way to bring that missing element into your relationship.