Healing Childhood Wounds in Group Therapy

George says to fellow group therapy members Marianne and Joshua,

“I like seeing how you two talk to each other. Josh, I think your kids are lucky, and Marianne, if you had wanted to have them, I think you would have done a great job.”

Both are moved to hear this. I want George to go deeper.

“What do you think it would be like to be parented by them?” I ask him.

“Oh,” he says, softening, “it would have been so different.”

“How so?” I ask.

“I would have been less afraid to be who I was. I might have come out sooner. I wouldn’t have married Charlotte. It would have changed my whole life.”

The tenderness is palpable in George’s words. Marianne has tears in her eyes. Joshua has placed his hand over his heart.

“And what do you feel towards them now?” I ask George.

“Love,” he says, “I feel love. Acceptance. That they accept me.”

They are both nodding. I keep going.

“And if they accept you, what does that mean for you here in group?”

“It’s safe. I can take risks. I can be myself." George says.

“What risks?” I ask.

“I can tell Ben that his haircut is sexy!” George says laughing.

The group joins in and Ben smiles uncertainly. He’s new to the group and hasn’t shared sexual feelings yet. Will he be flattered or feel anxious? Can he explore a fantasy of sexual connection with George or will he change the subject?

The group waits in suspense.