The group is chitchatting. Catching up on the details of each other’s lives. Is this group therapy or coffee hour? Hard to know.

So should I do what I normally would do, which is try to bring the group into the here-and-now?

My mind has been automatically thinking of ways to do that—possible examples from the member’s outside lives that might be metaphors for a dynamic happening in the group. But nothing feels meaty, clear, strong.

I could also highlight the unspoken interpersonal drama— even in sharing the events of the past week, there’s one person you especially want to impress with your story, someone else you particularly want sympathy from and someone else you’re most worried will judge you. But I would be digging hard for this, it’s not on the surface and clearly the group isn’t going there on their own today.

What if I did nothing? What if I wait until the dissimilarity between the group and a social gathering becomes sufficiently frustrating for the group members themselves to complain and want something different?

I notice these different parts of myself and sit with them. It is already less boring being part of this group as I weigh and consider these options. No matter what, you need to find a way to be engaged in what’s happening, whether intervening or studying what’s arising inside of you.

If I can’t get interested in my internal process, then I will say something, however heavy-handed and obtuse. If I can intrigue myself in the inner drama, there’s room to wait.